Brave Spring Dove

“This weekend was so much fun. I drove up to Spring Creek Ranch with some Anasazi staff to give some outside therapists and other interested professionals a good look into Anasazi. When we finally got there all the people were waiting for us… They asked me questions, and I sort of felt like it was a seminar and I was the speaker. As they asked me questions, I would tell them of my experiences, and my heart re-lived them. They asked me about my relationship with the Trail Walkers… and I replied, ‘They are the most amazing people I’ve ever met.’ They asked me why. I tried to think of how to answer that would sum it all up. I said, ‘They taught me everything I need to know.’

They asked more questions and I answered them, remembering the good times and the bad. It was obvious that the Creator’s Spirit had been present and we had all been touched. When we got tired we carried our packs to, what in the dark, looked like a meadow. I laid out my stuff. I got in my sleeping bag and stared at the stars. I looked from the Milky Way to the Big Dipper and then to the Little Dipper.

In that peaceful setting, I had great thinking time. I thought about how life has been since I got off the trail. At home I’ve been content, but I’ve lacked happiness at times. I’ve been hanging out with friends (good and bad) and I’ve been wishing I was somewhere else. I was at Disneyland even and having fun but something was missing. As I thought of this, a sudden a feeling graced my insides. The only way I can describe it is warmth. It felt like it was a safeguard around my soul. I hadn’t felt that since the last time I was at Anasazi. The warmth felt like it ran throughout my entire body. Tears of joy came as I soaked in that peace. I felt love or loved or something. I fell asleep.

I woke up, peaked out of my bag, and the sun shone on the grass, on the trees, on the lake… I got my boots on and walked. I was enjoying the beauty for all it was. The lake sparkled. The shade of the trees changed the colors of the grass to a shade darker. I examined the toys around the lake – the dock, the boat, the canoe, the zip line, and a raft sort of thing in the middle. The lake escaped down a little waterfall. Like a kid, I played with the water and toys as if it were an adventure I had never been on before. I looked up at the cabin and realized there was a couple watching me from far away. I was kind of embarrassed because I had been playing like a kid.

I jumped off the deck and swam like a fish. I felt pure joy and at that moment, for the first time in a long time I felt that there was nowhere in the world I would rather be. That warmth came back to my soul and swam with me for the next hour. I can’t even explain it except peace and happiness.

We had lunch and drove home. I finished the “Seven Paths of the Anasazi Way” book and my soul thirsted for more. I couldn’t get enough… Some Trail Walkers drove me to the airport. I got lonely there. I began to miss Anasazi already. I had felt so joyful all weekend, and I didn’t want that to end. I felt like I was leaving a sort of paradise and would never return or feel quite the same. As I walked through the airport, I felt trapped. But I knew then, and I know now, that I had to leave, and I just have to keep my experience at Anasazi with me and remember that feeling of pure joy. Thankfully, although the trees and beauty are gone, that feeling has been kind enough to stay with me.

Since I’ve been home, I have realized that happiness isn’t based on where you are or if you have a boyfriend or have lots of friends. And I’m so thankful that when things are really hard and everything feels hopeless that I can remember that feeling of peace I felt as I swam in that lake or the moment of joy I felt when I busted a coal… and then that hopeless feeling leaves and my soul is left with an indescribable peace.”

Love,

Brave Spring Dove